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Taken from Castle realm archives and moved to front index for better access



Signing A D/s Contract

A major step in any D/s relationship is the signing of a contract or agreement between the Dominant and submissive. Although these contracts may not be legally binding in a court of law, the agreement should not be taken lightly. Careful consideration should be given to the conditions of the contract before either sign on the dotted line.

What is a contract?

A contract is an agreement between a Dominant and submissive which outlines each participant's rights and responsibilities. These contracts can be very specific, detailing such things as required duties, limitations, and punishment, or they can be quite general, depending on the needs of the couple. The important thing is that it is something you both can live with for its duration.

How long does it last?

Contracts can be stipulated for any length of time. One hour, one day, a month, or open-ended, depending on what the couple desires. Most offer a cancellation clause, should circumstances arise where one or both parties no longer desire to be bound by the contract.

Why is it important?

One of the things that causes most D/s relationships to fail is a misunderstanding over the expectations each has in the relationship. Surprises such as, "I didn't know he'd want me to do *that*" or "She never told me she didn't like *this*" can be avoided. Signing a contract provides a framework within the boundaries of which each can live and develop the bond of trust so essential in any relationship. Sitting down and spelling it all out in black and white can save a lot of disappointment and frustration later.

Where do we find a contract?

The process of negotiating the contract in itself can be beneficial, as well. It opens the doors to communication, both exploring and verbalizing what their expectations are, discussing limits, and arriving at a mutually agreed upon document. This is critical; it can not be one-sided. It isn't something the Dominant draws up in isolation with the expectation that the submissive will sign it without comment. They should also be reviewed together periodically. This serves two purposes. It reinforces the bond of the contract and allows for changes as the relationship grows. Yesterday's limits may no longer apply.

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