A submissive's Journal

By jade 

The topic of the benefits of keeping a submissive's journal is one that I feel can be of use to both submissives and dominants. First, I'd like to define what a journal is:

journal -according to the Webster's New World Dictionay

1. a daily record of happenings

2. a diary

3. a ship's logbook


All of these definitions are very descriptive of what a submissive's journal should be. Her/his daily record of happenings, her/his diary and the logbook of her/his journey through submission

Are there different kinds of journals? Yes, just as there are different kinds of submissives and dominants. A journal can be anything from random thoughts to a highly detailed and structured record of events. The needs and requirements of submissive and dominant are reflected in the way a journal is kept.

Training Journal.

I'd like to begin with a journal that's probably the most popular kind kept by a submissive...the training journal. It's one of the most useful tools a dominant AND submissive can have during this time. Every trainer/master/mistress has their own preferences as to what this journal should contain and those preferences should be made clear BEFORE training actually begins.

During my training I was told to record a brief recount of the day's happenings and any new instructions or rules that were added. After this information was recorded I was to give a detailed account of my feelings, reactions, thoughts, fears, desires, questions, etc. This was to be recorded in my journal each night before going to bed. In the morning I was required to re-read the previous night's entry and make any comments I felt were necessary about what I'd written. I was often surprised at the things I'd written the night before. Very often I'd reacted to things that seemed so unimportant in the light of day but were a major concern just hours before. Had I not written down my feelings that evening, I would have dismissed them as being unimportant or silly and my trainer would have lost a lot of important insight into what was going on in my mind over certain issues.

This input from the submissive is crucial to a good trainer/dominant. They must know their submissive's true feelings, fears and desires in order to meet their needs and help them develop in a safe and healthy way. You must understand the nature of some submissives. It is often very difficult for them to voice their concerns, disappointments, fears and hurts to the person who has charge of them. Very often they will say what they think the dominant expects them to say and keep their true feelings hidden for fear of disappointing or upsetting their dominant. It is much easier for them to record these thoughts in a journal while they are alone and not under the dominant's influence that is often felt in his/her presence. Very often I wrote things that I would never have had the nerve to speak to my trainer and what I'd written was valuable input that my trainer needed to know.

Should the trainer read the journal? Yes, by all means. That's one of the primary reasons for writing it. Often when I had a struggle with an issue, my trainer would re-read my journal and search for some clues as to why this particular issue was such a problem for me. Very often the answer was there.

A journal should not replace the open communication between submissive and dominant. It should be used as a tool to build trust and skills in voicing the feelings a submissive has written about. My trainer would talk to me about what I'd written and encourage me to open up my feelings and share them. Once I saw that my trainer wasn't going to be angry or disappointed in what I felt it got easier to talk without having to write it first. At first it was VERY hard to say anything negative and I was very intimidated by my trainer's questions and imagined reactions but as trust built between us, my fears were laid to rest.

How does it benefit the submissive? Reviewing my journal from time to time is a way for me to see how much I'd grown. I often laughed at the entries I'd made about the difficulty of some task that now was such a simple thing. Or I'd remember the fears and anger I'd had over being corrected and see how much I'd changed since that entry.

How does it benefit the submissive? Reviewing my journal from time to time is a way for me to see how much I'd grown. I often laughed at the entries I'd made about the difficulty of some task that now was such a simple thing. Or I'd remember the fears and anger I'd had over being corrected and see how much I'd changed since that entry.

The journal was often used as a method for avoiding misunderstandings. My trainer would read how I'd written the instructions I'd been given the day before. Often what I'd written was not what my trainer had intended to communicate. It was also a way to prevent the problem of "You didn't tell me I was supposed to do that." Referring to the journal would clearly show that I had indeed been told I was to do *that*.

You can see that the uses for such a journal are almost limitless and only fail if the submissive is not HONEST in recording the required information. This honesty is a key factor in the success of future growth of the submissive and in establishing a solid relationship with a future Master/Mistress.

Other Types of Journals

What other kinds of submissive's journals are there? A personal journal is one of them. This journal is not intended to be shared with the trainer/dominant. It's the submissive's own record of their growth, feelings and future goals. The right to keep a "private" journal should be discussed with the dominant before it's started. Some dominants may not approve of anything being kept private. My trainer permitted it with one condition: The journal was not read on a daily basis but if there was a serious problem developing in my training I should be willing to offer my personal journal as a means of helping my trainer assist me through this problem.

Another type is journal is one that is kept for a Master or Mistress. It's usually a combination of the two journals mentioned, both a record of daily issues pertaining to the D/s lifestyle and the personal record of the submissive's daily thoughts and goals. Very seldom does a Master/Mistress allow a personal diary to be kept "private" because they own the thoughts and goals of the submissive and have every right to share in them.

Summary

My training journal remains one of my best tools for dealing with things that come up in my relationship with my Master now. I often look back at things to see how they were handled in the past and it gives me ways to deal with present problems. Browsing through the pages of this journal always encourages me. I can see how far I've come since those first words were written: "Today I've started on a journey to a place I've never heard of. Help me not to get lost along the way."

What will become of my training journal? The day that Master and I are finally together, I will lay this journal at His feet and offer it as my past as lay my heart at His feet to offer Him my future.

Copyright© 1997 Castle Realm